An Insight Into The Fascinating Study of Hobbits
by backtotheshire
Summary: A light hearted, gentle set of ficlets in which the Fellowship learns a little something - or rather a lot, if the hobbits can help it - about our little furry footed friends. Just a bit of fun, please R&R!


**Well, here is the first in a series of ficlets about the Fellowship learning a little about our wonderful hobbits! First lesson -Genealogy, or hobbit family trees. Enjoy and R&R! **

Merry looked up doubtfully at the two forms scurrying along the tree branch.

'I'd be careful, Pip. Remember that time you fell out of a tree and broke your arm? You vowed never to climb more than three feet off the ground again!'

Pippin poked his face through the dense layer of leaves. 'Don't remind me about it!'

A triumphant yell came from the left side of the tree. 'I can see it!'

'Well done, Frodo,' said Merry sarcastically. 'Now, all you have to do is climb up the trunk a little bit more, then swing across that branch, then climb along there, then get up onto that branch...' he trailed off, turning to Aragorn. 'Why are you letting them do this again?'

'I am asking myself the same question, Merry,' Aragorn replied sagely.

'Surely it would have been more sensible to let one of us climb it?' asked Boromir.

'And watch as the branches cracked under your weight?' Gandalf answered. 'Frodo and Pippin are by far the lightest in the group - it is much safer for them to be up there.'

There was silence for a moment as the company watched the hobbits swing onto a limb and teeter precariously for a moment before righting themselves.

'Meaning no offence, Mr Strider, but how did you get your sword all the way up there?' asked Sam, looking up with inquisitive brown eyes at the ranger. 'It's an awful long way up.'

Aragorn went red and looked at the floor. 'Ah, me and Boromir were playing a... game, so to speak, which involved throwing a sword as close to the target as possible.' He motioned to the painted target on the trunk, which was surrounded by notches in the wood. 'I was startled by a sudden noise and I threw my sword a little... off target, you could say.'

Boromir snorted. 'A little?' he scoffed. 'Why, anyone would think something had exploded nearby, the way you jumped!'

Aragorn shot Boromir a dirty look before turning to Merry. 'Anyway, how did those two learn to climb trees?' he asked. 'I was under the impression hobbits... disliked heights.'

'Ah, well, we're supposed to,' Merry replied. 'But, you see, those two both have a rather large quantity of Tookish blood in them, so they decided to learn anything and everything that is considered abnormal for a hobbit.' He glanced at Frodo, who was now dangling off a branch, being pulled up by Pippin. 'Why, I would say Frodo spent more time ten feet in the air than he did on solid ground!'

Boromir looked confused. 'Wait... so Pippin and Frodo are related?'

'Yes, Frodo, Pip and I are all considered as "cousins" in the Shire. I can explain it to you, if you want?'

'No, no, that won't be necessary,' said Gandalf quickly, but Merry was already in full swing.

'Well, Pip and I are first cousins, sharing a common grandfather: Adalgrim Took. My great-grandmother, Mirabella Brandybuck, is Pippin's - and my - great-great aunt. Therefore, on my father's side, Pippin and I are also third cousins sharing the Old Took as a great-great-grandfather. We are also first cousins, twice removed, of Bilbo, because of Bungo's marriage to Belladonna, and Bilbo's second cousins, twice removed - via Rosa Baggins' marriage to Hildigrim Took.'

Merry paused to take a breath, and then carried on. 'Frodo and I share a common ancestor in Gorbadoc Brandybuck, who is Frodo's grandfather on his mother's side. Frodo is then a first cousin of Saradoc, making Frodo and I first cousins once removed. However, Frodo is also connected to me on the side of his grandmother from his mother's side, Mirabella Brandybuck. Frodo and I also share a common ancestor in the Old Took and since Pippin and I are first cousins, I am also Frodo's second cousin once removed.'

Both Boromir and Aragorn's mouths were hanging open by this point, and even Legolas was having a lot of trouble keeping up.

'Carrying on, Pip and Frodo are related the same way as Bilbo is related to Frodo, as it turns out. Frodo and Pippin share a common ancestor in the Old Took, who is one of Frodo's great-grandfathers on his mother's side. This makes Frodo and Paladin, who is Pippin's father, second-cousins; and Pippin is therefore Frodo's second cousin, once removed.'

'Is... is there any more?' asked Aragorn hesitantly.

'Oh yes, I think there is!' Merry remembered. 'Well, Rosa Baggins, first cousin of Fosco, Frodo's grandfather, married Hildigrim Took. Via this connection, Frodo is also a third cousin, once removed, of Pip and I!'

There was silence as the company digested this.

'Going back to what I said about Tookishness, the Old Took, who we are all related to, was rather fond of adventures, and he had many children, of whom he passed his adventurousness to,' continued Merry. 'Now, Pippin is a full-blooded Took - Valar help us - whereas Frodo and I are more distantly related to the Took family. However, Frodo seemed to inherit the Tookish traits from his mother, Primula, who was a Brandybuck and therefore related to the Tooks. You might see that Pip and Frodo are alike in looks, and that is because they are of the Fallohide strain, as the Old Took was a one. Fallohides were the hobbits that mingled more with the elves and were taller and fairer than the other hobbits, the Stoors and the Harfoots.' He added the last sentence rather grudgingly. 'What both of them inherited was the overwhelming desire to just up and disappear on an adventure, and other skills like climbing trees, the wont to learn to swim and other rather odd traits like that.'

'I've got it!' came Frodo's yell from up the tree. The company did not move for a moment, but simply stared at Merry.

'What?' he asked. 'It's common practice for hobbits to learn their family tree, I could probably tell you the name and way I am related to every aunt, uncle and cousin I have in Brandy Hall!'

Gandalf was the first one to come to his senses. 'No thank you Meriadoc! I think our friends here will collapse if they try to cram any more information into their heads.'

'Um... Strider?' came Pippin's voice from the tree. 'A little help here?'

'Oh, yes, yes,' replied Aragorn, walking over to the tree, still looking a little dazed.

'I'll toss your sword down first!' called Frodo. With a thunk, the sword hit the ground inches from Aragorn's feet.

The two hobbits dropped down this time, and Frodo immediately gave Merry a stern look. 'You weren't down here butchering my family tree, were you?' he asked, a glint in his eye.

'Why no, cousin, or rather first cousin once removed, or even -'

Frodo interrupted, with a, 'Third cousin once removed, yes or -'

'Second cousin twice removed!' finished Legolas triumphantly.

'No, once removed,' corrected Pippin.

Legolas looked rather put out. 'Well, I cannot be asked to learn the family history of our dear hobbits, no matter how fascinating it may be!'


End file.
